The Booth Is the Best Seat, and We Will Not Be Taking Questions

When the host says the wait for a booth will be ten extra minutes, wise people sit down on the bench and accept their fate.

A table is a place to eat. A booth is a small private room that comes with bread. It has walls. It has a soft bench. You can lean back, spread out your stuff and tell a story at the proper volume without strangers scooting behind your chair.

Ranking every seat in the house

1. Corner booth. Unbeatable. Book your wedding here.
2. Regular booth. Excellent.
3. Counter stool at a diner. A close third, with the bonus of watching pie get cut.
4. Round table. Pleasant, democratic, nobody can reach the salt.
5. The tiny table beside the kitchen door. We have all been there. We order quickly and move on.

The one honest flaw

The person on the inside must climb over someone to leave. We accept this. Great things require sacrifice, and that is why it is courteous to ask before the appetizers whether anyone will be needing out.